"you have an essay due monday"
"you need to go outside and be a valued member of society"
"get off the computer, it’s 2 in the morning"
"they’re just fictional characters"
nice to know the bras the fans throw on stage are being used
This is going on my résumé!!
Keep your friends close but keep acquaintances who knew you during your embarrassing early teenage phrase closer.
I have the talent of getting tired without doing anything